Restraint Sucks

This week the divorce will hopefully be final.  Since the settlement was filed on Sept 21 and we have to wait 31 days to submit our case to the judge, the 31st day is Oct. 22.  I don't know if it will be finalized that day, but hopefully early next week. 

On my lunch break I decided to watch the Brittany/Britney episode of Glee on Hulu since I am way behind on all of my favorite shows.  I ate my Lean Cuisine and was enjoying the episode at my desk when I got an email from my attorney's paralegal.  She asked for a "service address" for Justin since she was filing the Motion for Judgment on the Pleadings in our case.  I wrote her back immediately and gave her his office and home address.  I asked her if he was going to be served with paperwork, or if she just needed the address for the records.  She wrote back and said "We have to serve him with a copy of the Motion.  He does not need to sign anything."  Verbatim.  Those were her words.

So I took that to mean that Justin would be served with a document and he wouldn't have to do anything with it.  We just needed to show the judge that he had been served this document that says that we do not want to go to court. 

So, as a courtesy, I sent Justin the following email 40 minutes ago:  "FYI, you’re going to be served with a Motion for Judgment on the Pleadings.  This is a document I signed that states we don’t want to go to court.  You are being served with the document so the judge knows that we both agree we don’t want to go to court.  Just a heads up."

Pretty courteous, right?  I didn't even have to tell him.  But I thought he'd like to know if someone is going to come to his office to serve him a document.  He immediately writes back and says, "I’m assuming this will be done with discretion."

I immediately hit "reply" and wrote "I don't know and I don't care."  But I didn't hit the send button.  I started fuming.  Who the hell is he to tell me this needs to be discreet or not?  I pushed my chair back from my desk, ripped off my headphones, closed down Hulu and marched out the door.  My office complex has a great walking trail around a lake and I have never used it until today.  I walked around the little lake for about 20 minutes crying, praying, feeling the sunshine on my face.  I felt grateful for the beautiful weather and that this serene nature trail was available for my use.  But damn him.  I haven't been able to watch Glee for 3 weeks and he ruined it.  I took the 4 flights of stairs back up to the office and got back to my desk. 

I sat down to find an email from Rachel, my attorney.  It said, "We just need to mail him a copy—he doesn’t have to do anything."  Oh.  OK.  When the paralegal, said "we have to serve him" I thought it meant that a courier would come to his office, ask him to sign for the document like a FedEx package and that would be it.  But apparently "serve" can also mean "mail."  But how was I to know that? 

So I compose another response to Justin's discretion email:  "Rachel emailed me after I sent this to you and she said you will be mailed a copy of the Motion.  And if you were to be served, why would I care if it’s discreet or not?  You’re unbelievable."

But it's still sitting in my Drafts folder.  I never sent it.  So I still haven't replied to him yet.  I know Mom would be proud.  I just don't want to put anything in writing that I will regret.  At least not until it's final!  I like the idea of him sitting in his office wondering when someone will be arriving to serve him with a legal document.  I think I'll let him sweat it out.  That to me is more satisfying than any mean email I can send him.  So I'll email him in a few hours to let him know that the document will be arriving by mail.  Or maybe I won't.